Mummy guilt over going on a ‘mums night out’
Apologies for the radio silence over the last few weeks I’ve been under a cloud of mummy guilt and generally being too busy to sit in front of my laptop.
And it’s from under that cloud of mummy guilt I come today and if you don’t have the patience for that can I suggest a much happier rocking Motherhood post over here to entertain you today.
At the point of writing this post I haven’t seen my little boy in nearly 48 hours and I still won’t see him for another 36! And that is entirely down to my choices and I’m feeling pretty shitty about that!
I should explain our normal weekly routine to do with my work.
I am at work from 8 till 8.15 on Mondays and Wednesdays. Harrison’s goes to my family for child care on these days and I see him for literally 5 minutes in the morning to get him out of bed and straight into our car on those mornings and then he is long in bed asleep by the time I get home.
On Tuesdays I work from home for a couple of hours and he goes to nursery whilst I do those few hours work, my food shop and the housework and all the other admin of life that is much easier to do without a toddler in tow! But then I get him for 3 hours before bedtime after nursery.
That is all the normal routine. It isn’t ideal. I miss him massively on Mondays and Wednesdays seeing him so little but it means I get a 28-hour working week done in two and a half long days and I would much rather do that than have to split it over more days and have him in childcare more days.
But understandably normally our Tuesdays are pretty safe from interruption and I get my much-needed baby hours then. But shock horror tonight I am going out! On a school night for shame!
But when the opportunity arises to go and see Giovanni Fletcher and good old (sorry less of the old) the unmumsymum, two blogger authors who are massively inspiring to a fledging blogger like me, I can’t just turn down that kind of opportunity. Especially when I’m going with an original mum friend turned blogging friend Lisa
from Pass the Prosecco Please.
So today I had a lie in whilst Fabio took Harrison to the nursery so that he wouldn’t be upset and I had to leave this evening before they were both home.
And yes I miss him and I will be dying to see him by the time Thursday morning comes round. But that isn’t where my mummy guilt lies. My missing him is self-inflicted.
What I feel awful about is that he has no choice in the matter. He is a mummy’s boy and I have just removed myself from him. He is always so excited to see me and he will so be expecting me to pick him up from a nursery. Of course, he will be just as excited to see Daddy but he will be looking for me and I won’t be there and that breaks my hormonal emotional mummy heart!
So roll on Thursday when I will get my little bit back in my arms, he will appreciate me for all of 5 seconds and then we will go back to normal routines and it will be like I was never away!