Who are you? | Blogtober ’16 Day 1
Who are you?
Just a tiny question, so much potential to be deep! This is always my least favourite question at a job interview!
I have no idea who I am!
I know the basics about myself (see my 20 things about me post here if you really want to know more details!). I’m 24 years old. I am trainee psychologist/support worker whilst I’m taking a career break to enjoy motherhood. I’m mother to a very almost 2 year old little boy. I’m a girlfriend, I’m a mother, I’m a sister, I’m a daughter, I’m a friend. But who I am to me is a bit of a mystery at the moment.
I would describe my life at the moment as a constant cycle of being someone to someone else, very rarely getting to be me to my fullest.
Two days a week I am at work 14 hours of the day literally at the beck and call of my client and her family. I love my job but doesn’t allow much room for me to grow, to be myself.
The other three weekdays I am very much in mother/wife mode. I love being a mother but I am not one of those women made for motherhood. I love my son, I love spending time with him but I am also not afraid to say I look forward to his nap and bed time when I get to turn off CBeebies and tidy away the building blocks and innane plastic junk and sit down with a cup of tea and relax. But even those nap times I’m not getting much time to be myself I’m cleaning, I’m hoovering, I planning things to do with my son and my partner. I’m cooking, I’m tidying. I miss the times when free time was actual genuine free time!!
Since writing this post Harrison actually started nursery for one full day a week as that I can reclaim a little me time. Read to books I’ve been meaning to read. Play my piano oroperly for the first time in years. Try on clothes that make me feel like a woman not mumsy, without a toddler screaming for me to hurry up. To go to a coffee shop and savour a coffee.
Because first and foremost right now I am my boys mama, but when I know he is safe and happy with someone else I can be Emma again. Emma the pianist, Emma the bookworm, Emma the gym bunny, Emma the make up enthusiast. I can be me.